February 26 – For Pete’s Sake Day

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Today is a day for us to sit and wonder, who, exactly, was this Pete? And why do we do or do not do things to his sake? Why is he so important?

I like to imagine that many years ago humans were being without free will. And consequently without the capacity to show hatred, anger, envy or spite. The decision maker of this bizarre world was a single man, named Pete. Pete oversaw the goings on in the world and made sure that the people treated each other with only kindness and worked together in their communities with the single mindedness and effectiveness of ants of above average intelligence.

However, Pete soon felt alone in this world. It was an extremely boring world, for without conflicting opinions there was no alterations and advancement in the world. Without cruel and stupid people, there was no opportunity for people to show kindness, bravery or forgiveness. So one day, Pete decided that he would allow, mostly for his own sake, people to make their own decisions. And thus Pete retired as supreme ruler of the world.

This was probably the worst decision of Pete’s life.

Havoc broke out amongst the people, for they suddenly realised that they had spent a great deal of time being under the control of a single man will slightly above average intelligence. They organised a rebellion and attempted to rise up and take their revenge. Despite being retired, Pete was still pretty strong, being the ex ruler of the world and all, and captured and contained the rebels as easily as one captures ants – a few bites here and there, but he just squashed the ones that really annoyed him.

Pete lectured the humans of the world about how astoundingly stupid they all were, and how, if they wanted to continue being creatures of free will (which they all agreed they did) they would have to fix that. He released them, warning them that any further acts of extreme stupidity would result in a punishment even slower and more painful then they were. And thus, the saying “for Pete’s sake” was born. Originally used as a sincere warning to another being reminding them about the horrible consequences of an action if it were to be caught by Peter, the phrase has lost meaning as humanity has moved on, leaving Pete to sit at home alone with his forty-two cats watching Jersey Shore reruns, becoming increasingly more afraid to ever step out of the house again.

~ Darcie Rae

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