Today is actually the 22nd anniversary of this holiday…happy What if Cats and Dogs Had Opposable Thumbs Day? As the owner of two already rather mischievous dogs, I imagine it would simply cause an awful lot of trouble. It would be like having really intelligent toddlers. For one thing I know that locks on the fridge door would be the first order of business: pets would eat through that thing until there was nothing left. And if you consider how much mess pets can make on their own…with the new-found ability to wield permanent markers, I can imagine that felines and canines alike would become vandals, scrawling angsty hate all over any wall they could find. Since mine already steal stray socks for attention, I can see pets sneaking into bags and taking wallets out for a play. Buying really expensive chew toys online with your credit card. “Hacking” your Facebook account…ok, perhaps that is giving them too much credit. The question was opposable thumbs, not human intelligence and the capability to speak and write english.
However, the possibilities of what we could realistically train them to do would be incredible. Teaching your dog to shake would be a lot more rewarding (and creepy) if they could give you a proper handshake right back. We could teach them to open the door for us. If you put enough effort into training them (I mean a lot…like those trainers that can make their dogs sit at the top of a high chair to half an hour while they try to sell you their training program kind of a lot.) you could teach them to bring you food! Cats would make excellent DJs. You could teach them how to actually catch and throw back a ball.
It could be awesome, but what I’m actually seeing is a much darker version of the old children’s film where the cats are evil and are plotting to take over the world, and the dogs have to stop them…except this time, there are no dogs on the good side.
~ Darcie Rae